Bill and Wendy's ickcillint adventures

Santa on the Beach in Trincomalee Christmas 2011 was a hard time for Bill and I.  All our VSO buddies had gone home for a visit to the UK leaving us without exotic plans and without our pals.  In self consolation, we booked ourselves into Coconuts, a small beach place in Trincomallee.  Despite our elaborate dinner at Chaiy Blue Hotel on Christmas Eve in Trincomalee, we pined for home.  Christmas 2011, we were home for Christmas - but only in our dreams. Bill in Trincomalee at Christmas (lonesome us) This Christmas, we fly home on December 12.  We'll be on time to celebrate Carla and Rob's birthdays (December 19 and 21) and kiss and hug two of our new grandbabies right away.  Yes, this Christmas, we will be home for Christmas ... and not just in our dreams.

Forever? Today, is my last formal day of work, having made the decision to retire some months earlier. It feels a bit strange and somehow not real.  How do you just give up working?  How do you let go of opportunities that present themselves, like curriculum writing, like job postings you know you could do with your eyes closed, like job postings that provide you incredible challenge?  At work in Jaffna  Training Women Development Officers in Jaffna Time will tell. I plan to keep all my professional registrations current for at least one year to ensure I have some choice about my life.  In the meantime, my real work will be baby kissing.

  Our last 2012 grandchild was born!   Despite the fact that his mother, Shelley, promised to keep her legs crossed until we got home, Colten had other ideas about his birth date.   He decided November 28 th at 11:42 pm was the perfect time to make his entrance into the world.   Little sneaker!   He was three weeks early.   His birth weight good despite his eagerness to manifest himself;   6 lbs, 9 oz.   Mom and baby are doing great. Colten is Bill’s first biological grandchild and he is over the moon and weeping at every photo.   Colten is my first step grand and I wept alongside Bill.   Bill reported he had an epiphany with Colten’s birth.   “I have seven grandchildren!”   Although we are a blended family they are all ours from youngest to oldest: Colten, Penelope, Michael, Mickey, Gwendylen, Lainee and Jayden.   Carla says for the Linders and Campbells (a couple of prolific families of friends of ours) to move over as the Finley/Blairs are gaining ground on them in the gra

Sunday is usually our day of exploration.  Today, we donned our motorcycle helmets, filled the rucksack with nuts, oranges and water and head out over the causeway to explore a little village called Uppavalladi.   We parked our bike under a palmyrah tree at the entrance to a little graveyard, and for the first and only time, took precautions to secure our motorcycle helmets against theft. After a long walk that meandered through the dusty but lively village, we sat on a grassy knoll over- looking the shallow grey blue lagoon munching out lunch.  We guzzled some water and then lazily stretched out on the grass for a cat nap.  Refreshed, we arose making a loop back into the village. We arrived back at the disheveled grave site to don our helmets and ride back to town. Bill's helmet was gone! Stolen.  Mine still dangled from the string we had used to secure the helmets.  Aw well, in a month, we were leaving the helmet behind anyway.  So, with no other alternative, we hopped onto t

The Agony and the Ecstasy is nearly over.   We fly home on December 12 th and flying into the time zone, we arrive home on December 12.   Our adventure into development work in a post conflict period of Sri Lanka has been ecstasies come true.   It has been an adventure.   Whilst Bill and I have travelled sufficiently to foreign lands, we have never lived in a foreign country, never been a visible minority and this move into uniquely unfamiliar territory to us or to anyone we knew was certainly adventure.   The ecstasy contained challenge.   Challenge was unleashed by twisting our tongues around Sinhala and Tamil languages, both completely unintelligible to the other. Challenge was navigating the daunting, jumbled, disordered and colourful marketplaces in order to find the essentials of life: food, matches, clothing, and household items.   Challenging us was adjusting to the pace, timing and lack of urgency in a collective culture and the difficult balancing of ethnocentrism with

Sharks! The Maldives are infested with sharks.   White tipped sharks and black tipped sharks patrol the lagoon around Paradise Island; stealth, silent, dangerous.   Ok, so the biggest are only about four feet long, with the average size about two feet long.   Just the same, there are many and we saw them during our dives as well.    It can be a bit unnerving and I must admit, I wasn’t up to snorkelling in a skimpy bathing suit.   Why do I feel so safe is a wetsuit and scuba gear?   Cognitive distortion for sure. The water in the Maldives is the most unbelievable aquamarine colour you can imagine. The colour is really, quite hard to believe, so clear, so aqua, so calm. White coral beach sand and palm trees paint the picture for you.   The oceans are abundant with huge schools of fish, dolphins, ocotopus, turtles, mantas and lovely coral.   The islands are idealic from an aesthetic point of view. However, functionally, the Maldives capital, Male, is seriously overcrowded and alth

Yes, I have scabies, but, kindly, I shared them with Bill. Finally, after seeing three doctors, I was referred to a dermatologist who, after taking my history and examining my spots, opined the spots were "consistent with scabies." Scabies are a parasitic eight legged mite that have burrowed into our skin and cause intense itching. For a little slide show of the creatures and the spots, go to: http://www.medicinenet.com/scabies_pictures_slideshow/article.htm My husband was, by now, also tearing off his skin, so the dermatologist offered to treat both of us with a cream called, Permethrin. I felt the dermatologist inclusion of treatment for Bill was highly unfair. First, he wasn't even there and secondly, that he should receive prompt and immediate treatment, when I had endured the parasitic burrowing for nearly six weeks before receiving treatment.  Bill, his conscience undisturbed by the inequality of the situation, grabbed at his prescription cream and liber

 In September, our fellow VSO colleague, Mark married his Sri Lankan sweetheart Sewandy and generously, we were all invited to the wedding in Colombo. Some carefully manipulation with VSO Sri Lanka office enabled us to coordinate one of our regular sector group meetings a day or so before the wedding, that way justifying the absence from our work desks on a Tuesday afternoon. Mark was already, actually married in August, in an engagement party. At this Buddhist engagement party, there is an exchange of rings, a promise and legally, they are married.  However, they cannot actually, culturally sleep together until the wedding day. So the wedding day was a big day for us all, especially for Mark and Sewandy. In preparation for the big event the Jaffna VSO girls went on a Jaffna Saari shopping expedition and in the end, we all looked lovely and bright - the Jaffna Parrotts! In Colombo, we scheduled a cosmetologist that does the "dressing" which involved a total of 14 safety

The countdown has begun. The time drags, then it flies. We bemoan how much time there still is left before we get to go home and then we panic that this life is coming to a close. Mostly, we can't wait until we can settle into our airline seat and know, that in a day or so, we will be home. We are plotting and planning many things. Kissing kids and babies, seeing our family and friends and enjoying Christmas at home. We are redecorating our condo in our heads, having dinners at Sunpeaks, and planning out a vehicle purchase. We are excited to get back into our home in March and hiking in some hills. We are looking forward to lounging around at our Kamloops Lake cabin. We are seriously planning the following: Immediate reservation at the Keg for a sirloin and baked potato Immediate reservation at Earls for good wine and salmon steak Immediate burger, anywhere, for Bill Sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper anytime we want Going to the movies and eating popcorn

 lovely! During my hospital stay (about 4 weeks ago), I have been scraping and scratching my skin like a flea bitten Sri Lankan dog. First, arriving at the nape of my neck, the itch travelled down to the inside of my forearms, and soon spread to my belly, my flanks, and my back. Occasionally, it arrives on the top of my thighs. However, there is nothing much to see. The source of itch is invisible or at least it was. Now, my skin is just a bumpy scabby looking mess from all the scratching. A large serrated bread knife works well for those hard to reach spots. Antihistamines (3 different types), 3 different doctors, cortisone cream, and calamine hardly subdue the itch. I have some theories: 1. I got scraped up on coral snorkelling in the sea. Maybe the coral amebas are crawling under my skin 2. The cat had fleas and now, so do I 3. I have been making chapatti out of Karrakan flour. I am allergic 4. I have damaged my liver and the toxins are trying to come out t

Yes, last week, I was hospitalized at the Jaffna Teaching Hospital.  It all started rather strangely.  I woke up on a Tuesday, perfectly fine.  I sat down to consume my breakfast of buffalo curd and chopped papaya and without warning I had to go number 2....NOW. Typical hospital beds - 30 to a room This diarrehea and hideous cramping continued all day, and so, was unable to work.  On Wednesday, I decided that I had some control over the problem, so went to work.  I redecorated the bathroom twice before I decided to come home for an hour or so.  I returned to work about 2pm, only to realize the folly of the decision to return.  By this time, the cramps were so intense, I thought I was having a baby.  My colleagues, Jo and Marcia had to take me home as I felt incapable of riding my scooter. Bill was out of town on a field trip with his English students, so I was alone in the house. I began vomiting and running a fever.  The cramping was severe.  Marcia came home from work and tho

Our tiny baby granddaughter slipped into the world without fanfare on August 17 th , three days before her father, Richard’s birthday.   As she had been cozy as a bug in a rug inside her mother, Julie, she was nearly a week overdue.    We’d all been dying to meet her and she finally arrived. She is beautiful. This year, 2012, is a year of fertility for us.   We had 2 grandsons born already this year; one in March and one in May and we are expecting another grandson in December.   So, our little Penelope, is our little flower amongst all these boys. Flower in Tamil is Pu (sounds like Pooh).   Even before she was born, I had decided to call her Pu as a nickname as I thought of her as a flower amongst a pile of rough and tumble boys.   However, a derivative of Penelope is Poppy and all along, and unbeknownst to me, her parents planned to call Poppy.   I think Poppy is absolutely perfect for her.   How serendipitous that it is the name of a flower.   Maybe I don’t need to call her

Judge and the Mongoose that inhabits our garden have made friends.  Initially, mortal enemies, we were convinced that the mongoose would make mincemeat of our cat. However, such is not the case.  Judge likes the Mongoose.  The Mongoose largely ignores Judge's gestures for friendship, but seems unbothered by the cat. Strange bedfellows.

Nallur Kovil Festival began this month.  This Hindu celebration lasts for about one month and is filled with all sorts of festivities and events.  So, we decided to check out the morning events.  Unfortunately, the morning events begin at 4:30 am. So on Friday morning, we dragged ourselves out of bed, camera in hand, and drove to the Nallur Kovil on the motorbike. The air was warm and fresh and immediately, we felt rewarded for being so disciplined. On Temple road, we were greeted by lights, music and swarms of people going to and from the temple. Mothers and children, families and men all moving toward the temple to pray, meditate, and roll. Yes, roll.  The events we saw on Friday gave a new meaning to Holy Rollers and made us realize that this must be the origin of the expression.  Men rolled in the sand moving around the entire temple grounds.  Bare chested with sarongs knotted at the knees to keep from revealing anything private they rolled and rolled, sweating and chanting as

I have a new man in my life.   His name is Willy.    Willy Nelson. Bill appears to be undergoing some radical change.   He has decided after 40 years of conservatism to become a radical, hippy dippy dude. He is letting down his hair and growing out his stubble.   Now, in fairness to me, he did discuss his decision to make these changes with me. Who am I to say what he can or can’t do with his hair?   I am always changing my hair styles and the colour of my hair and he is always wise enough to  keep his mouth shut.   However, I did have one stipulation: no pony tail.   I am not dictating what he can and cannot do. On the contrary, he has perfect freedom to have a pony tail if he wishes.   He just won’t have this wife. We don’t know if we like it or not.   The beard is through the worst of the growing out stage. For a few days I couldn’t even look at him, he reminded me of my old dad when he was too tired and too old to shave.   His hair, too, became unruly and as it did, he

Warning, some graphic content Fertility Temple These last couple of months, we have been in Jaffna more often than not and so on weekends and left to our own devices, we explore.    Our explorations are also driven by the realization that the sand in the egg timer is running out and we don’t have a lot of time left to explore this strange area of Sri Lanka that we currently call home. In June, when our VSO friends were visiting from Trincomalee, we hijacked their van and attempted to reach Delft Island, the closest point in Sri Lanka to India.   Although the Lonely Planet warned of an “intermittent ferry” we set out on the one hour drive to take our chances with the ferry schedule.   As luck would have it, the ferry to Delft was cancelled that day.   However, as luck would have it, oceans of people were at the Ferry Terminal to go to Nangadeepa Island, where an impressive 18 day festival was going on at the Naga Pooshani Amman Kovil.   This temple, built right on the bea

One day a week, on Thursdays and for three hours, the Security Forces Swimming Pool is open for ladies. Ladies are not allowed to swim at any other times. Pool time: 3-6:00 pm. Cost: 200 Rupees So, on Thursdays, us VSO ladies hustle home from work, grab our Speedos and swim goggles and head to 2 nd Cross Street where the pool is embedded in the grounds of St. John's College. The ticket man serves as security guard so no men can enter the compound and a female lifeguard attired in a Sari or a Shalwaar keeps us safe from drowning; guarding us from her deck chair as we swim our laps. There is usually just two or three of us ladies in the pool. When I was about ten and my brother Glenn, eleven, we earned our Mile Swim Award. We patiently swam all 64 lengths of the 25 metre McDonald Pool to earn a square bright green Mile Swim Aware badge. I still possess this badge which is stored in an old clear plastic Tupperware container with all my other swim badges and awards. The ba

July 6, 2012 Dear Chief Saman Sigera Headquarters Inspector File Number: CIB 2/40/65 On June 6, 2012, I made a complaint to the Jaffna police department regarding a man on a push bike who made lewd gestures about my breast, followed me into my lane and then tried to grab my breast. I was well treated by the attending officer and yourself. Today, at about 1:15 pm and approximately the same time as the last incident, a man on a push bike passed me as I rode my bike along Colombothurai Rd. He then rode very slowly in front of me causing me to pass him. He followed me along Colombothurai Rd and then followed me onto Vidhans Lane. He then sped up and as he passed me, he ran his hand up along my entire back, from buttocks to shoulder. I swore at him and he cycled past me, but continued to make hand gestures as if he was still stroking my back. He continued on down the lane and I quickly cycled home. I am pretty convinced it was the same man. He was in his early 20's,

Last Sunday, we decided to go back to Point Pedro beach. Point Pedro is a small heavily occupied town, situated on the most northern tip of Sri Lanka. Despite the longish drive (1.5 hours on a motorbike), we love the sumptuous white sand and shell seeker beach there. So, VSO pals, all straddling Honda Peppy Scooters clearly marked VSO, and in caravan, roared off from Jaffna down Point Pedro Rd. On the way to the beach, we detoured off the main road to see St. Anthony's church buried in sand. Long ago, St. Anthony's was moved to a new site and the old site is nearly buried in a white dune of sand. An attached graveyard is now mostly buried as well, but new additions to the site (graves) were placed after the 2006 Tsunami. Near the church is a resettled village. Anyway, after walking the site, we hopped back onto our trusty Peppies and back onto the dusty red road, to ride the last 10 minutes to the beach. POW! Our rear tire punctured, forcing the bike into a danger

Debris of war that goes on and on bombed houses in ithe vanni region lagoon Sea of bikes that go on and on I am too disturbed. Images and words filter through my brain. Words like: 300,000. People. Dutch ship. Prabhakaran. Images of bicycles piled high. Marshy dead terrain. Stacks of rusted vehicles. Bombed houses. Tent city. People running. So, to purge the images, I am up at the computer, trying to work out some of the tensions. In the book, the Cage, by Gordon Weiss, the author paradoxically begins the book at the end of the story of the Sri Lankan war; the killing of Prabhakaran, the LTTE leader. It is here, on the Nandikadal Lagoon, in the northeast of Sri Lanka where my mind is wrestling with these words and images. On the weekend, we made arrangements with a young Sinhala man who took us into the Vanni region, as it is known. The Vanni is basically a triangular region between Jaffna, Mullaitivu and Kilinochchi and the region most severely affected

I often head home for lunch. So, on Tuesday, June 5 th about 12:30 pm, I cycled my bicycle home for lunch when my chain broke (a chronic problem), forcing me to push my bike the rest of the way home.  As I entered our lane (Vidhans Lane, off Columbothurai), a man was leaning up against his bicycle.  He immediately began squeezing his breast and pointing at my breast in a lewd manner.  sign at police station Three story police station Quickly, it became clear that he was inappropriate and so, I swore loudly at him in English (F.. off) and kept walking.  He hopped back on his bike and cycled ahead of me into my side lane. At that point, I stopped walking and attempted to make a phone call to Bill, who I knew was likely at home at the end of the lane. However, the direct sunlight on the phone display prevented me from reading the numbers programmed into the phone. Then, the man cycled back out of the side lane and so, as I thought he was leaving, I entered the lane

 Moments before Ph.D Defence in New Zealand This week, I penned my termination notice of employment to Interior Health! I had worked there full time since 1996 until 2007 when I opened my private practice. When we first considered leaving for VSO work, I had this private practice and remained as casual status at IHA. I enjoyed filling in for the odd sick leave or vacation shift in the hospital, especially in psychiatry, but in all hospital wards: cancer clinic, children's health clinic, rehab and medical floors. In June 2010, just prior to leaving for Sri Lanka, and in preparation for my eventual return to work at the hospital, I applied and was granted a one year leave of absence, with the proviso that in one year, if I wished to extend, that a further extension had to be negotiated at that time. I did extend the leave of absence in June 2011 to accommodate the final year of our placement as VSO in Sri Lanka. It is now June 2012 and the hospital was expecting a

On May 27th, our newest grandson arrived, pulled by forceps from the snug and cozy womb of his mother, Tanya. After more than 30 hours of labour, he was finally delivered; 7 lbs, 14 ounces of perfection. Mom, Dad and baby are doing very well; all just very tired. Despite the distance between Nelson, British Colombia and Jaffna, Sri Lanka, I was present at the birth thanks to Skype, my sister, Teresa and Tanya and Brent's good pre-planning for the event.     First, communication to me arrived by I- Phone texts: "I think I am in labour" "Contractions coming 7-10 minutes apart" "At hospital, 2 cm dilated, baby fully effaced. Still a while to go. Baby doing great." Then, nothing for 12 hours. Phone by my bed, fitful sleep. At about 1:30 our pm, I telephoned my sister, 1:00 her a.m. Due to the slow progression of the labour, the nursery staff shooshed everyone home, except Tanya and Brent. They firmly instructed Tanya to turn off her

We feel better. Definitely, we tanked emotionally and likely for the first time, we both tanked at the same time and for an extended length of time. For the most part, when I'm down, Bill has supported me to get back up and when he slips, I pull him to his feet. We somehow got each other through the difficult troughs in the evolution of being away from home. I think it was the birth of Mickey and the pending birth of Tanya and Richard's babies that really made us realize how far away from home we were and absent from these very important events. However, we are now on the homestretch!   I gave my notice. I gave notice to VSO that December 14 th was my last working day in Sri Lanka. This affords us time to close down our home in Jaffna, say goodbye to our great VSO pals scattered about the country and get us all (Judge, Bill and me) on plane and back to Canada before Christmas. This year, I will be home for Christmas.