Retiring



Moments before Ph.D Defence in New Zealand
This week, I penned my termination notice of employment to Interior Health! I had worked there full time since 1996 until 2007 when I opened my private practice. When we first considered leaving for VSO work, I had this private practice and remained as casual status at IHA. I enjoyed filling in for the odd sick leave or vacation shift in the hospital, especially in psychiatry, but in all hospital wards: cancer clinic, children's health clinic, rehab and medical floors.

In June 2010, just prior to leaving for Sri Lanka, and in preparation for my eventual return to work at the hospital, I applied and was granted a one year leave of absence, with the proviso that in one year, if I wished to extend, that a further extension had to be negotiated at that time. I did extend the leave of absence in June 2011 to accommodate the final year of our placement as VSO in Sri Lanka.

It is now June 2012 and the hospital was expecting a decision from me regarding my leave of absence. Bill has been bugging me to retire for some time as he wants to gallivant around the globe, doesn't want to do it without me and doesn't want to be "tied down" anymore. So, I have been considering, deliberating and weighing it all out.

As you know, my career started later in life following a divorce and university, graduating with my BSW in 1994 at the age of 38. Economic independence has been precious and came at the price of studying full time at university whilst broken emotionally and with little money to support myself and five young children. I had fought hard to gain professional work and the financial independence it gave us. The kids and I paid a hard price for it. Yes, I was afraid to let go of my work.
As well, my work has been highly rewarding, so saying good-bye to this employment, this profession of social work, feels painful and leaves me a bit weak in the knees and with a gut of anxiety. What will I be? What can I do? Who am I, now? What if this, what if that?

Just the same, I remembered all the other perfectly good reasons for retiring: Bill is 14 years older than I am. Am I to wait until his health fails or something before I decide to go and play with him? I didn't know my grandparents and I want to know my grandchildren intimately. Furthermore their numbers are increasing exponentially now. I have nieces and nephews that are young and enjoy their auntie watching them at their ball games and concerts and track meets. I have a mom, who although is still going strong, may increasingly need me in the coming years. I have retiring friends.
I fancy making chocolate chip cookies and banana loaf again. I can't wait to make Sri Lankan cuisine for my friends and family. I long to fondle the flowers and plants in my yard, growing romaine and tomatoes beside them. I want to study Spanish in earnest, play the piano and paint.


This week, I gave my notice of retirement to IHA. I am scared, but peaceful. I trust.
Bill, is over the moon!

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