Not just cranky, CRANKY

 

Normally, I am quite sweet. Really, a lovely, lovely person. This is just my perception, okay? Bill may have a much different perspective of me, especially after the last couple of days. I am very, very cranky.

Actually, I am really mad! Yesterday was the last straw. I will provide some context for you. Passport Canada requires Canadians who travel or who are out of the country for great chunks of time like we plan to be (two years), to carry a passport that will remain valid during the period of travel or the period out of the county. So, due to the delay in departure, our passports will no longer meet this requirement and we therefore, have had to apply for new passports.

However, there is a glitch. Canadians are not really supposed to apply for new passports until the passport is nearing the expiration date. In the event of an early application, Passport Canada requires the traveller to provide some evidence of WHY they need to apply for an updated passport before the expiration date.

Therefore, my good husband, being the legal beagle, took it upon himself to print out our e-ticket that has us leaving Canada on September 28^th to give to the Passport office, he dragged me off to BCAA to get new passport photos, he compiled a letter to Passport Canada which we both had to sign verifying we were leaving the country for two years to work for CUSO and then he insisted we drive to Kelowna Passport office to get the paper work done. He was thrilled to be making a road trip anyway. I wasn't as thrilled.

We arrived at the Passport office in Kelowna. The greeter or pre-application screener was pleased with Bill's diligence in getting the paper work together. Bill was rather smug at this point. We then took our number, B 206, sat down and had a short wait for the Passport Clerk. Once B 206 was called, the Passport Clerk rapidly besmirched Bill's smugness by advising us that we needed a copy of the written/signed contract of the job offer and that the e-ticket needed to confirm that the ticket had been paid. Graciously, the biaotch checked over the rest of the application and deemed it in order, except for the flaw in my passport photo; my face was too shiny around my mouth and I would need to have it redone.

Graciously, the nay saying biaotch answered all our questions. No, they were not going to not hold the paperwork there until we returned. No, they did not accept faxes at the passport office. No, the Kamloops office could not process the application and no, there was no way around having to return to Kelowna on two more occasions. No, she could not guarantee how we would be treated in Sri Lanka without the updated passport. No, she could not guarantee that the Canadian High Commission in Sri Lanka could issue a new passport.

So, I grumbled all through our lunch at the bureaucracy. I grumbled not only for us, but for all the people in Canada who had to travel outside of their city to a passport office. I complained that others may not have a car, money enough for gas, food on the road, or the time off work. Here we were with 5 degrees between us and we couldn't get it right. What was it like for new Canadians where English was their second language? I grumbled on a macro basis. The personal problem for us was a political problem for others.

Nacho chips and diet pepsi did not diffuse my anger. I began kicking up dust about other injustices done unto me. I hadn't been able to play soccer in the winter as we were supposed to leave in February. Then, I didn't play summer soccer because we were supposed to leave in July. I couldn't teach in the winter term as we were leaving in February. Then I couldn't teach in the summer term as we were leaving in July. Now, I can't teach in the fall term, as we are leaving in September. We stored our little Miata sports car last winter, as were leaving in February. We didn't take it out of storage as we were leaving in July. Now, it will cost more to take it out than to leave it in. We rented our home in February for two years, thinking we were leaving in February. We could have been living there for 7 months. We didn't use our ski condo for over a year as it has been rented in anticipation of us leaving February and then July and now September.

Oh, that is not all I am snorting about. If all this hadn't happened I could have seen if my fern leaf peony, a PhD graduation gift from my friend, Edie Pletzer, had sprouted up this spring in my flower garden. I pass Blooming Acres Garden Shop and lament that I have not been able to spend a fortune at the garden shop and then sneak (under Bill's nose) the new plants into my garden and watch them grow. I have not been able to entertain and BBQ in my own home. We froze all winter (well, since we came back from Mexico, at least) and did not have our hot tub to warm us up before bed.

We packed away our golf clubs in our storage locker as we thought we were leaving in February. We couldn't dig them out of the storage locker as they are buried under a mass tangle of boxes, mattresses and furniture. We've not golfed this summer as a result of the delays and the burial of our golf clubs.

I closed my practice in December, anticipating our departure in February. When we didn't leave, I worked casual at Royal Inland Hospital, then, as we neared July, I applied for a leave of absence from the hospital. As I am now on a leave of absence, I can no longer work, even a little, at least at the hospital. I can't open my practice again, as it would be unethical to start treatment and not be in a position to finish treatment. I've lost a pot of income.

 

Anger is a second emotion. As a therapist, I have self analyzed and know that under the anger is a more primary emotion. The primary emotion is shame. We have become the brunt of taunts and jeers. Our friend, Peter Murphy was teasing us that our going to work for CUSO is a grand hoax to obtain parties in our honour. My friend, Diane Barry says she is sick and tired of saying goodbye to us.

Oh, let me count the losses. Allow me to mope in my soup. Leave me to be morose. Let me brood. I know this attitude is uncharitable, undignified, ungraceful, unholy and ungrateful. I am un. I am ungry.